Yesterday was my mothers birthday. She would have been 72. I thought a lot about her yesterday and even called my sister Trish. So we could reminisce over the days so long ago. Growing up we 6 (before Nadine and Angela) hardly saw her. It was mostly because for a very long time she worked Graveyard and she was the breadwinner of the family. So I came to realize this a long time ago because for many years I was mad that she wasn't around. I know her marriage was rough with my dad but when your a kid you just don't think about those things, so I won't dwell in that part of growing up except to say that I do have fond memories of when she came to the school shows and seeing her in the audience and lifting her hand to her ear so that I would sing louder and do you know to this day I do the same with my son cause he's a lot like me when I was a kid with a touch of shyness....My daughters were not shy and Lisa sang where everyone could hear so the first time I did the same gesture for my son I could feel all the goodness in me that I felt when my mom did that to me.I was in first grade when that happened.
Life changed dramatically when my mom met my 2ND Dad and Married. It was not easy having parents in my life after 13 years of no one really being there emotionally. And 2 sisters came along we became a family of 8 children and mom was there. So in my case I did have a childhood relationship and an adult relationship with mom and I am so glad and grateful for the last 14 years of moms life and being able to know her. One thing for sure about my mom is she didn't have favorites {well maybe my brother Phil} and I say this because no matter whoever was the youngest at the time that child was always spoiled the most but she did do for all of us just not so openly so we all had our time of being spoiled.....What I remember most about Mom. Well several things actually She loved to garden...She had the most beautiful backyard I could never have imagined as a child. She did practically anything to be there for us it was kind of like making up for loss time. She always was there and as I write this I get misty because I really do miss her so much. I consider myself lucky because even though my now defunct marriage is over. She was at my Wedding and the most beautiful moment of that whole disaster was the mother daughter moment we shared at a gas station bathroom.....LOL.....I mean we couldn't have the talk because I was already pregnant but the way she looked at me and touched my face no words can describe except maybe the tears I have as I write this....I can still see her face and I was puzzled a little because that kind of emotion was rare in mom but I got to see it and its my memory of her love for her first child to get married.
So I wish I could have wished her a happy birthday and tell her how much I loves her. I learned so much from this woman she has given me strength she probably knew I had but I didn't she was and is my rock! I I Love you Ma!!
