Thursday, September 18, 2008

September 20, 1986

First I want to talk about my mom its now 22 yrs., since her passing. September 20,1986 I remember the day clearly. My mom had 3 beautiful sisters who were there constantly for her and us. Aunt Carmen Aunt Angie and Aunt Nellie....Without them I don't know how I would have made it through. I became or I should say started to become a woman when I first found out mom was sick. I had always thought she would be there my Rock the toughest woman I knew. So I really believed her when she said that she would "fight this cancer" and I think she tried but i think deep down inside that she knew it was too late. I had leaned on my mom so much for everything and when the time came to woman up I did! it was hard but I did it. Other than I had no choice but to grow cuz I had to young daughters at the time There is one other special message I received from my mom after she died. She had tried to write all of us (8 children) a letter but she just ran out of strength.......I was fortunate to be one of the ones she wrote first and I'll tell you why it all started with a doodle I just was so scared at losing her and I just wanted to tell her I love her but she was weak and going through so many body changes I wrote her a little doodle not knowing if she would see it or not and it was a picture of a heart with a smiley face and nest to it i wrote I love you Ma!! but instead periods on the bottom I drew to small hearts........And on Thanksgiving of that year my dad Bill told the lot of us about some letters and he wanted us to know that everyone did not get one and would it be all right with us to give to the ones that she was able to write and we all agreed and I was so surprised when he said my name because I had so much guilt and grief over how I thought I had brought my mom trouble but I guess somehow she knew how I felt although I never said anything about it. Because she told me how much she loved me and for me not to worry about any troubles that i thought i gave her and that all she wanted was for me was to live my life and start living it. And at the top of that page was the heart I drew for her and on the bottom she signed and drew the same heart saying I love you Liz with the 2 exclamation marks that I drew for her................Neeless to say a whole lot of burden was lifted off my shoulders that one Thanksgiving and I just want to say and I know she knows I am living my life mom its so sad without you here but I remember you in everything I do and I so love you!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I LOVE YOU MaMa!!!!!!!

Yesterday was my mothers birthday. She would have been 72. I thought a lot about her yesterday and even called my sister Trish. So we could reminisce over the days so long ago. Growing up we 6 (before Nadine and Angela) hardly saw her. It was mostly because for a very long time she worked Graveyard and she was the breadwinner of the family. So I came to realize this a long time ago because for many years I was mad that she wasn't around. I know her marriage was rough with my dad but when your a kid you just don't think about those things, so I won't dwell in that part of growing up except to say that I do have fond memories of when she came to the school shows and seeing her in the audience and lifting her hand to her ear so that I would sing louder and do you know to this day I do the same with my son cause he's a lot like me when I was a kid with a touch of shyness....My daughters were not shy and Lisa sang where everyone could hear so the first time I did the same gesture for my son I could feel all the goodness in me that I felt when my mom did that to me.I was in first grade when that happened.
Life changed dramatically when my mom met my 2ND Dad and Married. It was not easy having parents in my life after 13 years of no one really being there emotionally. And 2 sisters came along we became a family of 8 children and mom was there. So in my case I did have a childhood relationship and an adult relationship with mom and I am so glad and grateful for the last 14 years of moms life and being able to know her. One thing for sure about my mom is she didn't have favorites {well maybe my brother Phil} and I say this because no matter whoever was the youngest at the time that child was always spoiled the most but she did do for all of us just not so openly so we all had our time of being spoiled.....What I remember most about Mom. Well several things actually She loved to garden...She had the most beautiful backyard I could never have imagined as a child. She did practically anything to be there for us it was kind of like making up for loss time. She always was there and as I write this I get misty because I really do miss her so much. I consider myself lucky because even though my now defunct marriage is over. She was at my Wedding and the most beautiful moment of that whole disaster was the mother daughter moment we shared at a gas station bathroom.....LOL.....I mean we couldn't have the talk because I was already pregnant but the way she looked at me and touched my face no words can describe except maybe the tears I have as I write this....I can still see her face and I was puzzled a little because that kind of emotion was rare in mom but I got to see it and its my memory of her love for her first child to get married.
So I wish I could have wished her a happy birthday and tell her how much I loves her. I learned so much from this woman she has given me strength she probably knew I had but I didn't she was and is my rock! I I Love you Ma!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Madelyn Rose Valderaz

On July 24th the newest member to our Family was Born Her name is Madelyn Rose. She is born 3 weeks early but she very healthy and as beautiful as can be.....Traci had to have a emergency c-section due to high blood pressure but she doing great and they are both at home now. As soon as I found out I took a trip out there to help out in anyway I could we were so excited! (me and the boys)...I always enjoy when I visit my brother and Traci and Ray Ray its never a dull moment! WELCOME Miss Madelyn Rose!!!!
I think she favors Ray. Well I stayed the weekend and helped and took care of Ray Ray the boys had a great time they always like going to uncle Rays house! On Saturday Licia came down and we went to see Traci and Madeyn Rose after our visit we went back to the house and Ray bought Steaks and we had a celebration dinner he also made this really good pasta salad and Licia made the mash potato's.....On Sunday Traci and Madelyn came home and I had to leave before they got there but I'll be back!.........It was wonderful beautiful moment in time!

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Dark Knight

Today I took my son to go see this incredible movie The dark Knight. Now I won't spoil it for anyone but this was an excellent well acted movie by everyone in it. I recommend and I would give 5 stars. Its very well written and directed and the action parts were amazing. Heath Ledgers part as the joker was phenomenal. I remember when I first seen Batman with Jack Nicholson I thought and think he was brilliant in that part and when I heard that someone new was doing the joker I remember thinking "No Way" No one could top Jacks part but I must say I was wrong and I'm not going to say one was better than the other but I can say this they were both brilliant in there own way! I feel like wow you know like I can't wait til the next one and sad thing is his accidental death (Heath Ledger) but I am going to agree with what I have heard he does deserve to be nominated for best actor and to win it!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

PhotobucketHey Everyone Thanks to my beautiful Aunt Angie who shared these pics of my mom with me. I must say looking at her takes my breath away and all the love in the world cannot compare to the love in my heart for my Mom........LizaBeth

Mom and Santa?

PICT1984Ooops I thought that was a Santa suit. Anyways this is a special picture because it brings backs a whole lot of memories of what I remember most when she took pictures and the goofy looks she would make . Even if she wasn't taking a picture this is just one of the little things that last a lifetime and bring smiles


Lucy, just beautifulWow!! How beautiful is this woman! Simply breath taking, and she always did catch an eye or two........


Beloved sister LucyThis is my mom as young girl so beautiful

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Cuen Family Reunion:Alum Rock Park 7/12/2008

On July 12 this past Saturday, I attended my family reunion on my moms side of the family. I along with my son Gabriel, daughter Rachel and grandon Evan went to Alum Rock Park. We weren't sure it was going to happen there with all the fires that have been happening around us lately but the weather cooled down some what to the low 80's so all was a go.At first I wasn't sure of anyone else would be coming from my immediate family but I'm pleased to say that 5 out 8 of moms kids were able to make it. It really was a wonderful day The kids brought their water guns and we bbq'd . There were contests and just a whole lot of aunts and uncles and lots lots of cousins. We all had fun catching up and just hanging out it was a Great Day!